Thursday, October 27, 2011

Mommy Fears?

It's about that time. Time to start registering for our baby items! I have actually been looking forward to this for a while but now I'm feeling VERY overwhelmed. It's not just that there are SO MANY things to choose from including, style, color, features etc. It's scary realizing how easy it is to get too caught up in having the best of the best.

Yes, I want to give my child the best but at the same time, what does that really mean? A thousand dollar stroller? $500 crib bedding? And if so, the options are practically endless. What kind of stroller do I really need? Will my choice be practical and convenient?

My husband and I have always said that we want to keep things as simple as possible. We want our children to realize that true happiness does not come from an excess of material things, having the nicest car in the parking lot or the best name brand shoes to walk in. It also doesn't mean going without just to make a point. I guess the word I'm looking for is balance.

Don't get me wrong. I like having nice things but what's more important to me is value. Getting more for less and not having to strain ourselves to get it. Every day we look at the news we see heartache, natural disaster and cruelty. Having a sweet stroller cannot shield my son from the effects of this world. Having a rockstar crib won't make him feel happy and safe. When I think about that it makes me sick to my stomach knowing how easy it is to put too much focus on material things and fool ourselves into thinking that that's what life is all about. Even if we don't verbalize it, do our actions and choices say it for us?

I guess I'm just having a moment. Fearing that I won't make the right choices for the things that really matter. And even if I do, that something won't come and take what really matters away from me. Does every mom fear this? I thought the biggest fear would be having a healthy child but it's going way beyond that now. I feel like I'm gonna turn into that mom who won't let her child go any more than 2 feet away from her. If I had it my way, my husband and child would be within inches of me every moment of every day. Somebody PLEASE tell me that what I'm feeling is normal! Please tell me that my mind will go back to normal and stop overthinking these things.

If you had trouble following the point of this post you're not alone. HAHA. My emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE right now. I'm terrified of the things I can't control and nervous that I can't be the mother I want to be.

Oh baby boy, I hope I can be a good mom. And I hope you always feel safe in my arms.


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6 comments:

  1. Eliza, this is your new normal....I don't mean the overwhemling fear so much as the desire to have the best for your baby boy and to have him protected as much as you can. I think that's normal and the way it should be. Think about if it were the other way around and you didn't worry about those things at all; that would be weird, right? Because you already have these desires and the best of intentions to teach about what really matters, you can rest assured knowing that you ARE already, a fabulous mommy!

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  2. Extremely normal! I remember writing a very similar post but my fears were a little different. Either way, it's normal and you're going to be a great mom.

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  3. Thanks for the comforting comments. This pregnancy thing sure is an emotional rollercoaster.

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