It took me some time to feel like I was starting to get this whole mom thing and I know it'll take me much more time to feel like a pro (or maybe I never will) but I'm happy to be where I am. The first week after delivering our son was tough. I had significant tearing and was exhausted from a completely med-free birth. I didn't know the amount of pain I would be in after having the baby. I feel like no one really warns you of that part and it's probably for good reason. Once the week was up, I felt much better. The soreness had subsided and I was finally able to stand up and sit down without being reduced to tears.
The worst part is that I wanted to soak in every ounce of newborness. I didn't want a second to go by where I wasn't present. Even when he was in my arms, sound asleep I felt like I just couldn't take it all in enough. But here we are, three weeks out and I am pain free. Every day I feel like I am learning a little more about how to be a mother and how to manage things. I've learned that if I get a good amount of housework done during his first nap of the day, I will be more at ease about sitting around all day staring at my baby. I think that no one should expect a perfect house for the first few months but since I get stressed out and feel guilty when things aren't done, this is what works for me. I've also learned how much time I need to properly get the little one and myself ready before leaving the house for doctors visits etc. And one of the biggest things, breastfeeding. I am no pro but Cruze and I are doing pretty well in this area too.
It all takes time and I am constantly trying to remind myself of this but for now, I'm proud of what we've accomplished. I have not written my birth story yet, have tons of unanswered emails and phone calls to return but the important things are what I'm focusing on for now. I'm spending precious time with my son and trying to give him all the love and attention he deserves.
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