I don't even know how to begin this post. It's hard to even see the screen past my tears. Mostly happy tears. Happy that this child that was not supposed to be, is here and healthy. The fact that I can say that the doctors were wrong. We beat the odds. We're a family and I am so beyond grateful for that. We've come so far in this year. We went from two parents who would worry over every tiny thing to (some-what) confident parents. I think we have this whole baby thing down for the most part at least. There are even days where I think about how easy it is. How I didn't realize how little work is involved. Clearly those days I must be a tad delusional. There are also days that remind me how awesome every other mother in the world is. Days where I look at moms with two or more children and think "you are a rockstar lady. A ROCKSTAR.". Because while I have my moments where I think that it's easier than what I imagined, I also know that it's really so much harder. Every thing in the world is so much more. Happy moments are happier, sad moments are sadder, my hard days are sooo much harder... and the list goes on and on. But there's just something about living in pure love. Head over heels in love with my husband and son that it makes my heart feel raw, vulnerable and ache in a way that I didn't even know was possible until they laid my son on my chest exactly ONE YEAR ago today. So those hard moments? I'll take it. It's worth it. Because it just makes those good moments that much sweeter.
And how did we even get here? How does it seem that out of my 25 years of life THIS year went by at lightening speed? The one year that I wish I could have slowed down. The one I wish I could revisit over and over again, gone. Just like that. But with this year came so much. Memories, laughter, tears, heart ache and joy. We gained a greater appreciation for life, for our creator. Our creator who so lovingly gave his son on our behalf. Think about that. If you have a child, does that not mean more to you know than it did before? It does for us.
So while I have many many thoughts and emotions running through my heart, the one that stands out most is gratitude. We are grateful to be parents, to have this gift of love, and to be able to shower it upon another person.
Thank you baby boy, you have made us happier than we ever thought to be possible.
We love you baby boy. We love love love you.
One year update post coming soon!
Happy Birthday Cruze!!! I hope you, your Mommy and Daddy have a wonderful day!!ReplyDelete
Awww so awesome. I can't believe mine turns one in 5 days. Happy birthday, Cruze!!!!ReplyDelete
Wow this year went really fast!!!! Happy birthday Cruz!ReplyDelete
Happy Birthday to little Cruze!ReplyDelete
Happy birthday Cruze!ReplyDelete
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