"Let them be little". Those words hit me so hard every time I read them. Little. The harsh reality that they are only truly little for such a short time is not easy for me to take. Those precious years, months, days where they are so moldable, so pure, so innocent - it's fleeting. I remember sitting in my bed right after Cruze was born just staring at him. So scared to look away for a second because I knew that every millisecond was to be treasured. Every single moment of that sweet newborn stage, was perfection and again - fleeting. So while I was completely overjoyed to the point where I had to fight to stay within myself, I was terrified for the next day. The day that would come whether I liked it or not that with it, would rob a piece of baby-ness from the soft, pudgy cheeks of my little love.
And just like that, what feels to be just seconds later, i'm sitting in front of my computer screen while every so often glancing over at my baby monitor to watch my now toddler sleep so peacefully in his crib, in his own room. I struggled with this thought even before he was born. I was pained at the idea that they grow too fast. Oh how I wish I could bottle up just bits and pieces of every moment so I can revisit them, or slow down time just a tad so that I can breathe him in more deeply and rock him off to sleep just a little slower. Time has become my biggest enemy.
It's constantly on my mind, wondering how I can make the best of every moment so that my regrets are limited. "Let them be little". These words do something to my heart, they make it feel... raw. It's so simple but so deep. They are only little for a little while. So I'm doing my best to find ways to make the most of it. To create as many moments as I can. Moments that make you feel as though time has stopped. Those moments where your are laughing so hard that the world seems to be on pause. I want my son to know what it's like to make tents in the living room with every single sheet we own, to run through the grass to the point of feeling like he could almost fly, to stay up late every now and then to sneak in a new movie with his daddy, to make messes, big messes, to spend too long in a bubble bath with his favorite toys, to play hide and seek for hours at a time, to get lost in his favorite book over and over again, to create art that his mama will proudly display all over, to anxiously wait at the kitchen table while the scent of baking cookies fill our home. I want him to experience all of these things. Responsibilities will come with time, but while he's little I want to let him be little.
Forever my baby....
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