|moments before finding out|
But then it happened. I was laying on that table in the dark room of my Doctor's office when I spotted it before anyone else ( I may have told my doctor to skip to the goods first). BOY. BOY BOY BOY all the way. I was NOT having a girl after all. I must admit, since I so thought I was having a little mini me, it felt like a tiny pinch. I was taken back for a moment. The words of family and friends kept playing over in my head "I hope you're having a girl this time" or " I really hope it's not another boy". By the way, NEVER say that to a pregnant woman. Ever.
People have asked me since finding out if I am disappointed, sad, angry (?!?!) that I'm having another boy. The answer in short is no. Of course not. The moment I saw his little face, I immediately fell in love so so hard. A little boy. A brother for Cruze. A cuddler and ball thrower. A little boy. It hit me as I was watching my baby boy on that screen. It all felt so new and magical even though we were in that same spot just two years ago with Cruze. I, the girl who broke down on my knees after being told I may never be able to have children - I get to experience so many sweet moments again. And that is a bigger blessing than I could ever ask for. Boy or girl. What I really wanted and knew in the pit of my stomach and depths of my heart was another child to add to this wonderful dynamic we have. A child. That's all. Boy or girl, I am feeling beyond blessed and privileged to be here again.
And that girl whose hair I wanted to braid? Haven't even thought about it since. I'm too madly in love with my soon to be born little boy. My sweet boy.
|and a few hours later|