Friday, December 16, 2011

Crying It Out. Good Or Bad?


Have you read this article about crying it out for babies? My husband brought it to my attention while we were having a discusion about the right way to put a child to sleep. Let's just say this article does not support the crying it out method. While I don't believe there is one right way since all children and situations are different, I do know from my experience babysitting children, that those whose parents used this method went to sleep with no problem every time and seemed happier during the day. That being said, I do believe that it's not as easy to actually follow through with hearing your child cry for attention without running over to him or her to give that TLC they're craving. There are so many differing views on every aspect of parenting. One second, something is right and before you know it, it's not only wrong but considered a danger to your child. Sigh...

I'm personally a bigger fan of attachment parenting. I've waited so long (not as long as others but long in my book) and I look forward to being my sons comforter. But every parent has the right to choose what's best for their child. This is just what I prefer for myself and my child. For more info on attachment parenting I found this article on iVillage. Here's a quote from the article:

Attachment parenting is about knowing your baby and responding to what your instincts and knowledge of your family tell you is right. Dr. Sears Baby Bs are just his recommended way to help you get to know your baby better. There are as many variations on the methods of implementing attachment parenting as there are parents and babies. Attachment parenting is a vehicle to get to know your baby and develop your own unique and sensitive parenting style.

I think that's well put. There should be variations to any method because every family is different. In case you're wondering, the Baby B's stand for bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing and boundary building. I'm all about bonding, breastfeeding and babywearing. In fact, I can't wait for it.

What are your thoughts on "crying it out"? Please keep in mind that nothing in this post is meant to offend anyone and their preference. I just thought I'd share my thoughts and hope to hear what yours are too. Happy Friday!


9 comments:

  1. I personally have followed the book Baby Wise, which is not the biggest supporter of attachment parenting. BUT I definitely agree that there should be variations on any method of parenting that you take. I'm not a 100% supporter of letting baby cry it out, but there have been times that that's exactly what he's needed. (He had his days and nights mixed up for a short period, so one night I just had to let him cry. It SUCKED and was so hard, but ever since then he has never gotten days and nights mixed up) I've learned that my baby has a propensity for crying before falling asleep. He literally will not sleep without first crying for a little bit. But sometimes his cry is saying something totally different, there's distress in it. I've just learned to tell the difference in distress cry and just normal ol' baby crying himself to sleep. Honestly, I would say just keep doing all the reading you can on the different parenting styles to educate yourself. But every baby is SO SO SO different, and I guarantee that your parenting style will mold to fit your baby. This baby may want to be held 24/7, and the next baby may prefer to sit in a swing and stare up at a mobile all day long. You'll figure it out. And don't let anyone guilt trip you into doing things a certain way :-)

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  2. I am a big advocate of attachement parenting and have had huge (!) success with this method of parenting with my 6 month old. She has been sleeping through the night since she was like, 2 weeks old. Seriously. We have a co-sleeper and I breastfeed exclusively, so whenever she's a bit fussy during the night, I just roll her next to me and nurse her for a few seconds. Most of the time she doesn't even fully wake up. During the day, especially during the first few months while I was on maternity leave, I'd "wear" her in a sling, and she was happy as a clam. Whenever she's upset, we do our best to figure out what it is that she needs and try to remedy it. She feels secure and trusts that her needs will be met and honestly, we go through WEEKS without really ever hearing her CRY for more than 2 minutes.

    So, of course, this method of parenting may not work for everyone, but it has worked for us and I think it's worth a shot.

    ALSO, THANK YOU for your generous award. I will be writing a post to thank you on my blog very soon!

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  3. Thanks for your feedback! I think your comments show that there is no one way to do things. I love seeing both perspectives and will definitely keep my mind open and keep doing my research. :)

    I hope you're both having a fantastic weekend!

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  4. Hey Sweetie.... just wanted you to know that I read your blog once a week and get caught up on everythng that's going on right now. Thank you for inviting me and letting me "read" along!

    P.S. I didn't do either of these with my children... I basically would just go with the flow... if I knew they were okay and not hurt and just fighting their sleep then I would let them cry it out which really was like for 10 minutes because they were exhausted. If I knew that they needed me then you better believe I had them laying on my chest. I think you have the right idea... ebery situation is different.... you WILL know what your baby needs and when... just go from there. Babies dont come wtih a manual BUT you will encounter a LOT of people, books, friends, family, strangers, etc... giving you and telling you "advice" but at the end of the day... YOU do what is right for YOUR baby... and that's all that matters. :) <3

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  5. Hi Jennifer! I'm so glad to have you follow along on my little journey. That's the great thing about blogs, it brings us closer to people we wouldn't normally be able to see or spend time with. Thanks for the tips!!!

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  6. I never follow any particular method with my daughter (now 10). She was breast fed and I was never able to lay her down awake. She fell asleep in my arms, I put her to bed, and would often bring her to bed at night when she was hungry. I still joke that I would just lay down, plug her in, and go back to sleep. It worked for us for the first several months of her life. When that didn't work for me/her any more, we had to figure something else out. She would fall asleep nursing. I would lay her down and when she awoke, she would cry. I would wait a couple minutes to give her a chance to soothe herself and then I would comfort her, but I would not pick her back up. When she was quiet, I would leave and we would do that over a over for a few nights. It was rough, but we were both happier as she learned to self soothe.
    But, that is what worked for us, that doesn't mean that it will work for you.

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  7. I definitely agree its different for every kid. No, I'm not a mother(I will be though), but I'm a full time babysitter. Currently just for one family, but I've worked for people with lots of different techniques. In working with kids, my mom and I have shared stories of my clients offspring and of my sister (7.5yrs younger) and myself. One of the ones that always stuck out in my mind was her little journey to potty training me. She originally got the cutest little potty. Introduced me to it and explained I was a "big girl" and was going to have to learn to use it...no pressure. Well... I didn't use it at all! She figured it was a phase. She ended up acquiring a second one. We lived in a townhouse at the time, so she kept one on each floor... figuring I would get the hang of it(I had gotten sick and it set me behind... I started walking and talking early, but after my bout, I regressed for awhile... took me awhile to"catch back up"). Then, one day... we were at a garage sale... and I found my potty. This thing was not cute. It did not look like a little girls potty... it was not the cute wooden one she acquired or plastered with cartoon characters... or played music.... no. This thing looked medical. It looked kind of like this: http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/graphics/00000001/FreedomPottyTrainer-d.jpg only it was all white and folded down into a little potty you could put on the floor with the little tray. I LOVED IT! I was potty trained within a day of getting it! My mother says she wishes my personality had been more prevalent as a toddler, she would have let me choose my own in the first place. In comparison, the family I'm working for now... the kids don't seem to care what their potty looks like... neither did my sister, who used mine, with a short phase of opting for using the tub.... but, for me... I needed a SPECIAL potty. I'm sorry. I found the story funny and it supports the statement that you'll know what your child needs parenting wise. My sister and I are pretty different, so different techniques were used. I was more independent from the start... insisting on playing on my own as soon as I could, while my sister demanded my mothers attention constantly. So, yes, simply using myself and my sister and some of the kids I've sat for as examples... I can say I agree and you'll just know what techniques are for you and which ones just won't work. Its about you and your baby.

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  8. I LOVE all these comments. Thanks for your input ladies!

    Teddie-Leigh, your story made me smile. I felt like I went back in time with you. :)

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  9. Ah! I'm glad you liked my story. :-)

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