I Hope I Always Remember | May

As a mom I often find myself thinking, "oh how I hope I will always remember this moment, the way he did this, the way I felt when..." One of the most amazing things about blogging is that you can record memories that you want to keep forever. Like a journal, but better.

This series is my attempt to 'always remember' the subtle moments in time that take my breath away.

I Hope I Always Remember...

The way Cruze looks at my mother. He just adores her.

 How excited he was when titi Millie brought him this train set (and easel, and table and chairs). He plays with this set all day long.

The intense stares this baby boy gives me when I pull the camera out. I can't really tell what he's thinking. But he's thinking...

 The look on Cruze's face when we took him to the beach for the first time of the Summer. He walked slowly until his toes were in the water. And from that point on, it was heaven for him.

I'm pretty sure he thinks of my mom as his property. I don't blame him. She's a great Mima (and lets him get away with everything). She also sneaks him cookies when I'm not around. I suppose this helps a bit too. I'm so glad I caught this moment on camera.

How I left the house upside down and threw away my to-do list to meet up with my mom and aunt on their girls weekend. The ocean water was therapeutic. I need more of this kind of spontaneity in my life. I'm working on it. Also, that's my baby in that wide brimmed hat below... love it

Seeing my son laugh and play so hard all day long. Giving him that bonus time in the pool just made his day. Therefore it made mine too.

The way he lays in his tent with his feet waving up in the air while he plays with his toys. I made that tent, have I mentioned that?

And yes, there is a random potty in his play room. It's become a carrier of toys for him... I hope I always remember that too.

The little reminders that we are a family who love on each other so hard. I sure did pick the best dad for my boys. And that I know I will always remember.

And hey! It's the weekend! I hope it's a good one for you all...

Sarasota getaway

 

On Sunday my mom and I decided an overnight trip to Sarasota was in order so we both rushed to our homes, packed as fast as we could and met up at a hotel which surprisingly, had rooms available. It was something I desperately needed. No meals to cook, no laundry to fold and no calories to count. Everything is calorie free while on vacation, right??

 

Sarasota is about an hour and a half drive from us but it feels worlds away. I love the laid back attitude and the beautiful views.

 

 

Cruze spent almost the entire day in the ocean water with Phillip roasting away while I lounged with baby Caleb under an umbrella with a pina colada in hand. Florida is mighty HOT this time of year but the shade of the umbrella combined with the blissful ocean breeze is the perfect combo for enjoying the outdoors with my newborn babe.

 

My soul needed a day like this.

Prior to this beach day, we got off to an... interesting start at our hotel. After we were given our room number and key, we had the pleasure of walking into a room that was still in USE. The current guest was showering (and singing) as we barged in. Good thing he was singing too loud to hear us while we did an about face and ran out of there. Has anyone seen What Happens In Vegas? Yeah, I felt like I was about to live out a scene from that movie. Needless to say, we had room service for breakfast.

 

{iPhone photos}

 

Also, if you're wondering where I am for most of this post... I'm the girl behind the camera all day err day.

 

 

 

Caleb Monthly | 2 Months

 Since Caleb is almost three months old, I figured I better get on posting his two month update. I seriously cannot believe how fast these weeks are flying by. It's even faster the second time around. Too fast.

My little sweet pea! I had to control myself with the picture posting. This post started out with like 20 pictures! But seriously, can you blame me? :)

 

The Stats
 

Diapers: size 2 disposable however, we are now pretty much doing cloth 100% of the time. People ask me how I can do cloth, like if it's rocket science ha. But I get what they're asking. I actually LOVE it. I love seeing my babe in cloth and the laundry part isn't really all that hard. Takes the same amount of energy and time to run to the store for diapers in my opinion. We are using the same diapers we put Cruze in. Talk about saving money.
 

Clothes: 3-6 months. How on earth?!

Weight and Height: 14 pounds 4 ounces and 24.5 inches long. He's my BIG boy!

Favorite Things: being outside and being worn. Babywearing is the best! He's also been loving books that I read to him. Oh and... he likes tv. Not even kidding. If the tv is on, he will find it and lock eyes.

 
New things: Showing his emotions. It's like I can almost tell he has an opinion about everything. He's also become such a little grabber. Watch your hair when you're around him. Trust me.
 
I can't believe I have two babies now. TWO! There was a time when I was sure I would never be able to have children. My heart is so full. Like, beyond.

 

On Courage | pt 2

 

Sakura Bloom Sling Diaries Audition

 

 

To the boy that made me a mother,

 

From the moment I learned I was pregnant with you I knew that we were just meant to be. You rocked my world and introduced me to a love that I didn’t even know existed. Our souls were instantly connected as I fell madly in love with you with each stretch, kick and hiccup. With each passing day I eagerly anticipated the moment you would go from being a tiny person whose heart seemingly beat as one with my own, to a separate life in my arms who would be able to take in the world with his own fresh eyes. No longer shielded from the world by my own body, you would soon learn what it was like to feel emotions – good and bad. From pure bliss to sadness, all of it. As a mama bear this is not something that was easy for me to accept. I remember so vividly, the guilt I felt in my heart as I stared at your newborn face knowing that one day I would no longer be able to protect you. It pained me. It terrified me to my very core. It was at that moment that I realized what it meant to be courageous and strong. Knowing that things may go wrong but letting you live life anyway while slowly letting your grip loosen from my own hand. The ability to surrender my soul to a love so hard that it rattled my entire being, to be vulnerable, to let go when the time comes; that in my opinion, is courage. 

Love,
Your Mama
 

 

 

On Courage | pt 1

 

Sakura Bloom Audition

 

 

I think there tends to be a misconception when it comes to the word ‘courage’. It’s a word that often makes one think of confidence, strength and boldness. While it’s true that these attributes may at times play a huge part or be a result of showing courage, they are not the definition. Courage is putting on a brave face and doing something that may be ‘wrong’ or scary even when it frightens you most. As a mother, I am constantly rediscovering myself. From my talents and strong points to my limitations; I am learning what they are each and every day. I am learning how little I know about this thing called ‘motherhood’ and even life in general. I have proved myself wrong in every single area and have learned to not utter the words ‘oh,  I will NEVER…’ ever again. You see, there is an ideal for every situation but then there is the real, the raw, the right now and the it may be wrong but in all the right ways. I find that it takes courage to live these moments out the fullest. To stop consuming myself with thoughts of failure or shame for doing things our way. And in this, I am slowly freeing myself from the crushing weight that is, the opinion of others; even that of my former self. Yes, it can be scary to be wrong but motherhood gives you the heart to be courageous even in the face of possible failure.